Resurrection Five Question Meme

[amari_z]

Here are the ones I've done so far. It's not too late to play (or play again if you're inclined). Just comment here.

For sasha_b


Five ways Arthur tried to control Lancelot in public.

1. Appeals to fear of discovery (which were sneered at).
2. Stern looks (which were ignored).
3. Puppy dog eyes (Arthur's best weapon, but Lancelot is nothing if not self sacrificing when it comes to doing his duty--which, as he sees it, is to embarrass Arthur as much as possible).
4. Threats of no sex (responded to with a smoldering look straight into Arthur's eyes and a slow smile, the reaction to which made the threat seem extremely unlikely to be carried out).
5. Promises of sex (But Lancelot knew he'd get that anyway).
6. Gag and leash (oh wait, no, Arthur only imagined that one).


For ivy03



Five things Lancelot would say to the Jehovah's Witness unfortunate enough to knock on the mansion's front door.

1. "Come back in two hours. Arthur will be home then. I'm sure he'll be delighted to talk to you."
2. "Where is this watch tower it and what type of fortifications does it have?"
3. "My own religion? Certainly. Once a week we get together, dance naked, sacrifice a nonbeliever to the moon and drink the blood. Actually, we're looking for our next sacrificial candidate now. Say, you look like a healthy specimen."
4. "What's the big deal with coming back from the dead? I've done it myself, and it's certainly not a sign of believing in your fucking god."
5. "Tristan, it's for you."


For darklyscarlett


Top 5 embarrassing (drunken? accidental?) romantic/sexual situations amongst the knights ever since they were resurrected.


1. Tor woke up one morning with a headache, a mop, a dress, an empty box of cereal and Percival. His shriek of horror brought half the knights bursting into the room.
2. When Arthur walked into the kitchen late one night, he found Bruenor naked and holding a stick of butter. Arthur turned around and walked out. Bruenor later protested that he was trying out a recipe from the "Naked Chef" but Arthur put his hands over his ears. Luckily for Bruenor, Lancelot was still dead at this point.
3. Bors came home bragging about how he had found a new bar where he had gotten four blow jobs in one night from four different women. The next night, a bunch of the knights went with him to check out this miraculous bar. It was Tristan who informed Bors that the women there were not in fact women. Bors never went back, but a few of the other knights did.
4. Dagonet brings Kay flowers once a week. Kay pretends it annoys him. One thing Dagonet likes about the modern age is that you can get flowers even in the winter.
5. And there was that one time that Galahad--no, it can't be described in words. You just have to see the pictures. Lancelot will show them to you in exchange for taking on his dishwashing duty for a week.

For ivy03


Five ways Arthur tried to explain to his knights about modern birth control and STDs. And
Five ways the knights responded to "the talk."

I cheated and kind of mashed this one together.

1. "It's like a sheath for your sword. Only rubber. No, the other sword."
2. "So you see, unprotected sex can kill you. No, Gawain, it doesn't have anything to do with you getting to hit Lancelot with your axe."
3. "No, Bors, I can't condone you replacing any woman's birth control pills with pill-resembling candy."
4. "Really, the safest thing is monogamy. Mo-no-ga-my. It means only having one sexual partner. No, not per night. Just one sexual partner. Yes, the same one every night. Yes, daytime, too. . . . No, Gaheris, this is not solely an attempt to lay in the ground work to try to keep Lancelot in line once he's resurrected."
5. "Yes, Bors, for the tenth time, it really will fit."


For sarmajere



The knights' five favorite non alcoholic beverages

Hmm, it really varies by knight. But going by total volume consumed:

1. Water
2. Orange Juice
3. Chocolate Milk
4. Grape Juice ties with tea
5. Coffee

For far_mountain


Five practical jokes Tristan has played on any of the other knights. And not get blamed for any of them.

1. They thought that the flooding of the bathroom was an accident, but it was no coincidence that this particular bathroom was right over Agravaine's room.
2. Bors woke up one afternoon from a drunken stupor with something like a rubber cap on his bald head. He wasn't sure what it was at first. When he realized, he blamed Kay, who had been rolling his eyes the eleventh through fourteenth time Bors had asked if the condoms would really fit him.
3. Tor keeps finding his pink underwear hanging from the chandelier in the foyer. He blames Galahad and tries to pummel him.
4. Galahad has lost his house keys six times since they were resurrected. He blames Tor and tries to pummel him. Everyone else thinks it's just because he's an airhead.
5. You'll see in the next chapter.

Comments

[sasha-b.livejournal.com]

My favorites:

4. Threats of no sex (responded to with a smoldering look straight into Arthur's eyes and a slow smile, the reaction to which made the threat seem extremely unlikely to be carried out).
5. Promises of sex (But Lancelot knew he'd get that anyway).
6. Gag and leash (oh wait, no, Arthur only imagined that one). *sporfle* *does spit take* *shoos away plot bunnies*

2. When Arthur walked into the kitchen late one night, he found Bruenor naked and holding a stick of butter. Arthur turned around and walked out. Bruenor later protested that he was trying out a recipe from the "Naked Chef" but Arthur put his hands over his ears. Luckily for Bruenor, Lancelot was still dead at this point. AAHAHHAAAAA.

3. Bors came home bragging about how he had found a new bar where he had gotten four blow jobs in one night from four different women. The next night, a bunch of the knights went with him to check out this miraculous bar. It was Tristan who informed Bors that the women there were not in fact women. Bors never went back, but a few of the other knights did. And I think I want to know which ones. :p

1. "It's like a sheath for your sword. Only rubber. No, the other sword." Arthur: *headdesk*

4. "Really, the safest thing is monogamy. Mo-no-ga-my. It means only having one sexual partner. No, not per night. Just one sexual partner. Yes, the same one every night. Yes, daytime, too. . . . . No, Gaheris, this is not solely an attempt to lay in the ground work to try to keep Lancelot in line once he's resurrected." OMFG. Oh, Arthur. *snort*

You're brilliant. :))))

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

Right now, I'd settle for amusing. Glad you liked (and don't shoo the bunnies away--that's just rude ; ) ).

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha!

"What's the big deal with coming back from the dead? I've done it myself, and it's certainly not a sign of believing in your fucking god."
*evil laugh* Oh, Lancelot.

And I love all the examples of "the talk." It occurred to me after I posted that if Arthur had explained how having unprotected sex could give you a disease that would kill you in 10-20 years, most of the knights would have been non-plussed. Ten years? They probably don't expect to live that long anyway.

You'll see in the next chapter.
Tease! :)

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I had that thought, but I figured Arthur would be smart enough to gloss over that issue. : )

Glad you liked! (And that icon still makes me laugh.)

[darklyscarlett.livejournal.com]

"Where is this watch tower it and what type of fortifications does it have?" Hah -- ROFLMAO with that one, since I pass the goddamn Watchtower complex on the N or D train over the Manhattan bridge five times a week (yes, I refuse to take the F home, and will walk all the way to 4th and Pacific).

"Tristan, it's for you." Isn't Tris always Lance's answer to most everything (er, except for stuff directly involving Arthur)?

All the answers to my 5 were spot on character and ridiculous (has Bruenor been watching last Tango in Paris, perchance?). Ah, Bors and the trannie bar reminds me of a song a friend wrote after having inadvertently picked one up at a club. It went something like "she was pre-op, with a little on top..."

I do need to ask: was it Tor or Percival wearing the dress? Neither? Oh, the horror!

You'll see in the next chapter. I agree. Tease!

[darklyscarlett.livejournal.com]

Er, I meant Last Tango in Paris. **blushes** What was that line by Marlon Brando? "Get the butter", was it?

So, did they send Galahad and Tor to the trannie bar without telling them? Can just picture that.

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

You're a clever one. Although a few others went as well.

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

L was pretty damn disappointed when he realized it was not a military target--and though he was tempted, he didn't think he could get the knights to NYC and back without Arthur finding out. Not even on those plane things.

And Lancelot likes to delegate (his minions are somewhat better than mine) and Tristan gets the job done. And there's the added bonus that when Arthur finds things out and starts to lecture, L can just point out that it was Tristan, not him, and Arthur is stymied. Even Arthur realizes it's futile to lecture Tristan.

I've never seen Last Tango, but I have heard about the butter thing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it was not on my mind when I was coming up with this scene. ; ) Bruenor, sadly, was just confused by the Naked Chef thing. Or he's sticking to that story, at any rate.

As to who was wearing the dress--no one knows. Tor rather hopes it was the mop.

Tease Well, I have to have my fun somehow. : )

[far-mountain.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha! *snort*

All hail Amari the Queen of Glee!
For making us laugh, especially me.
And Tristran you say is up to new tricks,
Well, I hope you don't take too long to finish the next Resurrection chapter because I'm really looking forward to seeing what the sneaky scout is up to now that you've told us about all the practice he's had playing pranks on the other knights over the past few months and getting away with it up until now.

*breathe*

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

Glad I could make you laugh! :p I've already pretty much given all the clues you need to know to figure out what Tristan did, so you might be able to guess. Unfortunately, it's not all that exciting, although it makes me chortle a bit (but I'm weird).

[far-mountain.livejournal.com]

One of the things I really like about the Resurrection stories is that the humor is often unexpected yet totally in character for each knight.

I look forward to reading the next installment. I've missed reading your stories.

[pharaohs-kitty.livejournal.com]

I especially liked, "Tristan, it's for you." LOL. I can imagine Tristan's reaction quite well. Brilliant writing as always. Thank you for feeding us!
PeeK

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed. If you want to leave your own 5 things prompt, feel free.