Resurrection Five Question Meme

[amari_z]

Here are the ones I've done so far. It's not too late to play (or play again if you're inclined). Just comment here.

For sasha_b


Five ways Arthur tried to control Lancelot in public.

1. Appeals to fear of discovery (which were sneered at).
2. Stern looks (which were ignored).
3. Puppy dog eyes (Arthur's best weapon, but Lancelot is nothing if not self sacrificing when it comes to doing his duty--which, as he sees it, is to embarrass Arthur as much as possible).
4. Threats of no sex (responded to with a smoldering look straight into Arthur's eyes and a slow smile, the reaction to which made the threat seem extremely unlikely to be carried out).
5. Promises of sex (But Lancelot knew he'd get that anyway).
6. Gag and leash (oh wait, no, Arthur only imagined that one).


For ivy03



Five things Lancelot would say to the Jehovah's Witness unfortunate enough to knock on the mansion's front door.

1. "Come back in two hours. Arthur will be home then. I'm sure he'll be delighted to talk to you."
2. "Where is this watch tower it and what type of fortifications does it have?"
3. "My own religion? Certainly. Once a week we get together, dance naked, sacrifice a nonbeliever to the moon and drink the blood. Actually, we're looking for our next sacrificial candidate now. Say, you look like a healthy specimen."
4. "What's the big deal with coming back from the dead? I've done it myself, and it's certainly not a sign of believing in your fucking god."
5. "Tristan, it's for you."


For darklyscarlett


Top 5 embarrassing (drunken? accidental?) romantic/sexual situations amongst the knights ever since they were resurrected.


1. Tor woke up one morning with a headache, a mop, a dress, an empty box of cereal and Percival. His shriek of horror brought half the knights bursting into the room.
2. When Arthur walked into the kitchen late one night, he found Bruenor naked and holding a stick of butter. Arthur turned around and walked out. Bruenor later protested that he was trying out a recipe from the "Naked Chef" but Arthur put his hands over his ears. Luckily for Bruenor, Lancelot was still dead at this point.
3. Bors came home bragging about how he had found a new bar where he had gotten four blow jobs in one night from four different women. The next night, a bunch of the knights went with him to check out this miraculous bar. It was Tristan who informed Bors that the women there were not in fact women. Bors never went back, but a few of the other knights did.
4. Dagonet brings Kay flowers once a week. Kay pretends it annoys him. One thing Dagonet likes about the modern age is that you can get flowers even in the winter.
5. And there was that one time that Galahad--no, it can't be described in words. You just have to see the pictures. Lancelot will show them to you in exchange for taking on his dishwashing duty for a week.

For ivy03


Five ways Arthur tried to explain to his knights about modern birth control and STDs. And
Five ways the knights responded to "the talk."

I cheated and kind of mashed this one together.

1. "It's like a sheath for your sword. Only rubber. No, the other sword."
2. "So you see, unprotected sex can kill you. No, Gawain, it doesn't have anything to do with you getting to hit Lancelot with your axe."
3. "No, Bors, I can't condone you replacing any woman's birth control pills with pill-resembling candy."
4. "Really, the safest thing is monogamy. Mo-no-ga-my. It means only having one sexual partner. No, not per night. Just one sexual partner. Yes, the same one every night. Yes, daytime, too. . . . No, Gaheris, this is not solely an attempt to lay in the ground work to try to keep Lancelot in line once he's resurrected."
5. "Yes, Bors, for the tenth time, it really will fit."


For sarmajere



The knights' five favorite non alcoholic beverages

Hmm, it really varies by knight. But going by total volume consumed:

1. Water
2. Orange Juice
3. Chocolate Milk
4. Grape Juice ties with tea
5. Coffee

For far_mountain


Five practical jokes Tristan has played on any of the other knights. And not get blamed for any of them.

1. They thought that the flooding of the bathroom was an accident, but it was no coincidence that this particular bathroom was right over Agravaine's room.
2. Bors woke up one afternoon from a drunken stupor with something like a rubber cap on his bald head. He wasn't sure what it was at first. When he realized, he blamed Kay, who had been rolling his eyes the eleventh through fourteenth time Bors had asked if the condoms would really fit him.
3. Tor keeps finding his pink underwear hanging from the chandelier in the foyer. He blames Galahad and tries to pummel him.
4. Galahad has lost his house keys six times since they were resurrected. He blames Tor and tries to pummel him. Everyone else thinks it's just because he's an airhead.
5. You'll see in the next chapter.

Comments

[pharaohs-kitty.livejournal.com]

I especially liked, "Tristan, it's for you." LOL. I can imagine Tristan's reaction quite well. Brilliant writing as always. Thank you for feeding us!
PeeK

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed. If you want to leave your own 5 things prompt, feel free.