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anitabuchan
Five times Tristan wanted to kill all the other knights
1. When he got dressed in modern clothes for the first time and Arthur tactfully pointed out he had his shirt on backwards, all the knights laughed. They stopped abruptly, though, when they realized he was looking at them.
2. Whenever they eat together. You've met Tor and Percival. You'd want to kill everyone too.
3. Every time one of the knights, oh so subtly, tries to nudge him in Dinaden's direction. They are all idiots and should mind their own business.
4. When he flooded the bathroom.
5. All the time, really. Actually, maybe the question really should be when doesn't he?
Forsasha_b
Five Ways that Arthur acclimated himself to the 21st century
1. He learned to like tea. No really, it's important in modern Britain. Or so I’m told.
2. The modern era is obsessed with time. In the old days, you divided the day up into early morning, late morning, noon, afternoon, evening and night, and that was it (and sometimes that didn't even work well, since, as Lancelot constantly pointed out, the sun wasn't all that visible in Britain). Luckily, there's something in Arthur's nature that seems to have naturally taken to dividing up the day into infinitesimal increments and obsessively referring to them.
3. Arthur had to learn to drive. Contrary to what the knights might think, it didn't go as smoothly as Arthur would have liked. Perhaps this is the root of Arthur's discomfort with the idea of Lancelot behind the wheel. Or maybe that is something else altogether.
4. Arthur had always thought of himself as a reasonable, peaceful person. But actually, he isn't quite. He quickly had to learn to resist the impulse to grab annoying, weaselly little men by their shirts and shake them to teach them manners and decency.
5. Arthur doesn't like heights. The first time he realized that the metal box had actually taken them many, many feet into the air, he very nearly panicked. He still feels queasy each time he looks out of the window of Robert Scott's office. Of course, he is quite careful to hide this little fact from Lancelot, who loves nothing more than to perch on the tallest places and lean out over the abyss.
Bonus: 6. Although Arthur pretends, even to himself, that it is not so, he still misses the weight of Excalibur at his side.
Forsulien77
The 5 things Lancelot hates the most about the 21st century, and the one thing he loves (excluding Arthur, of course)
1. Guns. Lancelot has always disliked projectile weapons. He understands their tactical usefulness, and so learned to be competent with them, but he never liked them, even back in the old days—and has even more reason to hate them now. And guns are even worse than arrows and crossbows. Lancelot generally feels that if you're going to kill people, you'd better be ready to feel the heat of their blood when it spurts out of their bodies.
2. Mobile phones. You all knew that, right?
3. "Democracy." It really is just a word that lets the stupidest people think they're getting their own short-sighted way, while letting everyone get fleeced by the upper class, isn't it? Arthur tells him that he is surprised by Lancelot's attitude, and that he never suspected that Lancelot would oppose free choice. Lancelot retorts that it's not free choice he opposes, it is free choice made by idiots, and the people of this era seem, on average, more idiotic than ever (and that's saying a lot, in Lancelot's opinion). The conversation usually loses all intellectual moorings at that point (if it had any to begin with).
4. No horses. Lancelot can understand why cars have caught on, but that doesn't really explain to him why no one has horses. Humans without horses are missing part of their souls. No wonder this era's people are so stupid.
5. That is no longer quite as socially acceptable to put a knife into someone who annoys you.
And 1. That people seem to have no qualms about walking around scantily clad. Hey, he may be with Arthur, but he can look. He's not dead, after all. At least, not anymore. Oh wait . . . whatever.
The 5 things Tristan will never admit that he loves about the 21st century
While never admits might be a bit strong for some of these, since Tristan makes it a policy just not to admit to anything much, I think they're fair game.
1. Guns. Especially with silencers.
2. Mobile phones. All that riding he used to have to do back and forth to scout things out and come back and report to Arthur? And now, he can just hang up on people without listening to anything they have to say.
3. Big cities. You're surprised? In a big city, as long as you make sure your appearance blends in, you can pass completely unnoticed. It's even easier than slipping through the woods.
4 The fact that you can get fresh apples any time of the year.
5. That Dinaden is alive.
Forlivigiano
Five things Arthur did before the resurrection of the knights
1. Arthur totaled the car he was driving the first time he drove alone. There were no human injuries, but the car could not be resuscitated.
2. The first time Arthur went into a modern bathroom, shortly after he was awoken, he was completely baffled. He was too embarrassed to ask, and no one thought to explain it to him. Finally, he had to take Merlin aside and inquire (imagine how much fun that was). When the rest of the knights were resurrected, he made it a point that they all understood how the plumbing worked. Thinking of the alternative made him shudder, since he rather thought that, unlike him, they might be inclined to experiment.
3. Arthur often wore his shoes on the wrong feet for three weeks after he was resurrected. He did not realize that the left and right shoes were actually different, and he wondered how it was that modern people had such uncomfortable footware.
4. Arthur got very upset when he first realized that the church in Britain had separated itself from Rome. It was the Reformation waged all over again. After awhile, though, he reconciled himself to the idea that if he prayed in a church, even if it was a somewhat blasphemous one, God would accept his prayers as they were offered. He never was quite happy about it, and was relieved when he found a few Catholic churches. Still, he sometimes frets that the people have lost their way.
5. When Arthur was feeling particularly lonely, he would haunt the museums. Seeing how old things looked and how fragmentary they were did not really make him feel better.
Five things Dinaden can try to make Tristan talk to him
See above, No. 2 under "Lancelot's top 5 vomit-inducing romantic gestures that he's observed with the other couples"
Five Things Tristan and Lancelot have done together for fun
1. Torment Agravaine. Their methodologies are very different, but they work together well.
2. Annoy Arthur by pretending they're ignoring him when they're together.
3.Comb each other's hairTry to cut each other to pieces. It's great fun. No, really.
4. Plot to killRomans people who give them reasons.
5. Compare notes on who has, separately, tormented Agravaine the most. They keep score. Lancelot is winning right now, but maybe only because, while Agravaine generally tries to keep his distance from Tristan, Agravaine can't resist any opportunity to prod at Lancelot. He's like a naughty boy with a long stick looking at a beehive.
Bonus 6. Trade Stupid Galahad Stories™
Forfar_mountain
Five things Lancelot doesn't know about Arthur, but Tristan does.
1. Arthur started watching Lancelot nearly from the day he arrived to take command of the knights. At the time, Lancelot, who was sleeping with Galehaut (and any woman who caught his eye), did not notice.
2. Arthur spent most of the night after they received their orders to leave for Eboracum at Lancelot's bedside, as he had every night since Lancelot had been wounded. But that night, rather than passing the time praying, he put his head down on the bed and wept.
3. Arthur never gave Lancelot gifts in the old life. In his mind, it would no doubt have been completely inappropriate. But a few times, Tristan had seen Arthur at the blacksmith's lingering over an unclaimed knife or sword that would be wholly unsuited for Arthur's style and size.
4. After the knights were resurrected, but before Lancelot was, Arthur once followed a familiar seeming man for ten blocks before catching up to him. He was tall and lean and had curly dark hair, but Tristan, who had also stared for a moment when he had first caught sight of the man, had realized he was nothing like Lancelot within three seconds of watching the way the man moved. Tristan had no doubt Arthur had realized it as well, but, still, Tristan remembered the way Arthur's face fell when the man turned around.
5. Lancelot doesn’t know that Arthur actually misunderstood Lancelot’s wishes about his ashes. Arthur had spread the ashes into a wind rising from the west, thinking that Lancelot had misspoken and meant that he wanted his ashes to be blown east toward Samartia. Apparently, Gawain, Galahad and Bors did not know any better either, but when Kay found out, he was quite annoyed at their ignorance and complained about it to Tristan. Neither of them has mentioned it to Lancelot, because, really, what would be the point now?
Five times Tristan has covered for Lancelot when Arthur was looking for his first knight.
1. When Arthur had been their commander for about a fortnight, Lancelot had failed to show up for training one day. When Arthur asked Tristan where Lancelot was, Tristan had shrugged, although he well knew that Lancelot was out of the garrison, waiting in ambush for the Roman scout who had carelessly lamed a horse.
2. Once, when they had just ridden back to the garrison after a rather nasty skirmish with the natives, Arthur had come into the stables looking for Lancelot. Tristan was well aware that Lancelot was just around the corner in one of the storage rooms with Galehaut, but after a moment of debating with himself, he told Arthur that Lancelot had gone back to the barracks. He even managed to kick a bucket at the right moment to cover up one of Lancelot's moans.
3. After Galehaut died, Lancelot pretty much stopped sleeping. So one afternoon, when Lancelot had actually fallen asleep in the hayloft, Tristan had told Arthur that he had seen Lancelot heading off toward the baths. It was not a particularly good lie, but it was good enough. Arthur did not yet know that Lancelot despised the Roman baths, and that the last time he had set foot in there had been over a year ago, and for the sole purpose of dumping tadpoles into the water. And Tristan knew, from the way that Arthur had started to avert his eyes after he would catch himself staring at Lancelot, that Arthur would not dare go into the baths to check.
4. Lancelot got into a brawl with a handful of legionaries who had come to the garrison as part of the escort for the supply train, and so didn't know who they were dealing with. One of them got lucky with a broken chair leg, and Lancelot ended up with a cracked rib (but you should have seen the Romans). When Lancelot couldn't quite hide it and Arthur demanded to know what had happened and if it had any connection with the loud complaints from one of the tavern owners in the village, Tristan told Arthur that Lancelot had been in the garrison all night and had been kicked by one of the pack mules. To Tristan's mind, at least the second part was not even much of a lie.
5. When Arthur asked where Lancelot was, and Tristan knew that Lancelot was down in the basement looking through the boxes of weapons that they had smuggled into the house, Tristan had shrugged. Arthur no longer could be tricked into believing that meant that Tristan did not know, but he had also learned that there was no point in trying to force an answer out of Tristan. He looked around and instead asked Galahad.
Five of Tristan's traits/skills that Lancelot envies.
1. Sometimes, especially when he is trying to keep up with Tristan as they run through the woods, Lancelot wishes he had Tristan's uncanny knack for silence.
2. When Lancelot first met Tristan, he was envious of how fearless he was. Unlike Lancelot, who was afraid of a lot of things—never going home again, what Britain would be like, shaming himself in his first battle –Tristan simply did not seem to be afraid of anything. It was only later that Lancelot began to understand the difference between fearlessness and courage and later still before he realized that no one, not even Tristan, was without fear.
3. Before Dinaden died, but after Lancelot started keeping regular company with Arthur, Lancelot sometimes envied Tristan's relationship with Dinaden.
4. Tristan, of all the Sarmatians, seems the person who least minds being alone. Occasionally, especially as the years passed and they were fewer and fewer in number, Lancelot envied that.
5. Tristan genuinely feels no regret when he kills. Mostly, Lancelot has learned not to let himself feel anything either, but there are times, such as when he can't seem to get the smell of blood and carrion off of his skin, that Lancelot wishes he were a little more like Tristan.
In all the years they've known each other Lancelot has asked Tristan to keep five secrets, which he has faithfully done. What are those secrets?
I'm cheating on this slightly. I don't really see Lancelot verbally asking Tristan to keep things secret, but that merely being understood between them. So this is more in line with the idea of five secrets Tristan knows about Lancelot, which he has never told.
1. The first man Lancelot killed was not in battle. He was a Roman soldier. Tristan helped Lancelot hide the body.
2. The night after their first battle, rather than spending it drinking and celebrating the fact that they had all survived with their limbs intact, Lancelot spent the night behind the stables, huddled on his knees, throwing up.
3. The others think that the first woman Lancelot slept with was a whore when he was thirteen. He had been dragged to see her by Bors and some of the older knights. In fact, Lancelot had not had sex with her. She had been kind enough not to mock his reluctance and had told him, in her broken Latin, that he reminded her of her little brother. That had not exactly put him at ease, and so she ended up passing the time telling him about how she had been in Britain for three years, brought there after the Romans had razed her village and killed her father and brothers. Her mother and sisters had been divided up and sold off, and she did not know where they were. The place she came from was far away, and Lancelot did not recognize the name, but as she spoke, he found himself picturing wagons burning in a familiar grassland. He never visited a whore after that. When pressed, he always said that he didn't need to pay for it, and while that was true enough, Tristan knew it was not the real reason.
4. One night on their way from Sarmatia to Britain, Lancelot told Tristan that sometimes he dreamed things that came true. Although Lancelot never mentioned it again, Tristan did not forget.
5. The first time that Lancelot slept with Arthur, he was not driven by desire, friendship, lust or even alcohol. Lancelot slept with Arthur because fucking his Roman commander was one of the worst things that Lancelot could think to do.
For
anitabuchanFive times Tristan wanted to kill all the other knights
1. When he got dressed in modern clothes for the first time and Arthur tactfully pointed out he had his shirt on backwards, all the knights laughed. They stopped abruptly, though, when they realized he was looking at them.
2. Whenever they eat together. You've met Tor and Percival. You'd want to kill everyone too.
3. Every time one of the knights, oh so subtly, tries to nudge him in Dinaden's direction. They are all idiots and should mind their own business.
4. When he flooded the bathroom.
5. All the time, really. Actually, maybe the question really should be when doesn't he?
For
sasha_bFive Ways that Arthur acclimated himself to the 21st century
1. He learned to like tea. No really, it's important in modern Britain. Or so I’m told.
2. The modern era is obsessed with time. In the old days, you divided the day up into early morning, late morning, noon, afternoon, evening and night, and that was it (and sometimes that didn't even work well, since, as Lancelot constantly pointed out, the sun wasn't all that visible in Britain). Luckily, there's something in Arthur's nature that seems to have naturally taken to dividing up the day into infinitesimal increments and obsessively referring to them.
3. Arthur had to learn to drive. Contrary to what the knights might think, it didn't go as smoothly as Arthur would have liked. Perhaps this is the root of Arthur's discomfort with the idea of Lancelot behind the wheel. Or maybe that is something else altogether.
4. Arthur had always thought of himself as a reasonable, peaceful person. But actually, he isn't quite. He quickly had to learn to resist the impulse to grab annoying, weaselly little men by their shirts and shake them to teach them manners and decency.
5. Arthur doesn't like heights. The first time he realized that the metal box had actually taken them many, many feet into the air, he very nearly panicked. He still feels queasy each time he looks out of the window of Robert Scott's office. Of course, he is quite careful to hide this little fact from Lancelot, who loves nothing more than to perch on the tallest places and lean out over the abyss.
Bonus: 6. Although Arthur pretends, even to himself, that it is not so, he still misses the weight of Excalibur at his side.
For
sulien77The 5 things Lancelot hates the most about the 21st century, and the one thing he loves (excluding Arthur, of course)
1. Guns. Lancelot has always disliked projectile weapons. He understands their tactical usefulness, and so learned to be competent with them, but he never liked them, even back in the old days—and has even more reason to hate them now. And guns are even worse than arrows and crossbows. Lancelot generally feels that if you're going to kill people, you'd better be ready to feel the heat of their blood when it spurts out of their bodies.
2. Mobile phones. You all knew that, right?
3. "Democracy." It really is just a word that lets the stupidest people think they're getting their own short-sighted way, while letting everyone get fleeced by the upper class, isn't it? Arthur tells him that he is surprised by Lancelot's attitude, and that he never suspected that Lancelot would oppose free choice. Lancelot retorts that it's not free choice he opposes, it is free choice made by idiots, and the people of this era seem, on average, more idiotic than ever (and that's saying a lot, in Lancelot's opinion). The conversation usually loses all intellectual moorings at that point (if it had any to begin with).
4. No horses. Lancelot can understand why cars have caught on, but that doesn't really explain to him why no one has horses. Humans without horses are missing part of their souls. No wonder this era's people are so stupid.
5. That is no longer quite as socially acceptable to put a knife into someone who annoys you.
And 1. That people seem to have no qualms about walking around scantily clad. Hey, he may be with Arthur, but he can look. He's not dead, after all. At least, not anymore. Oh wait . . . whatever.
The 5 things Tristan will never admit that he loves about the 21st century
While never admits might be a bit strong for some of these, since Tristan makes it a policy just not to admit to anything much, I think they're fair game.
1. Guns. Especially with silencers.
2. Mobile phones. All that riding he used to have to do back and forth to scout things out and come back and report to Arthur? And now, he can just hang up on people without listening to anything they have to say.
3. Big cities. You're surprised? In a big city, as long as you make sure your appearance blends in, you can pass completely unnoticed. It's even easier than slipping through the woods.
4 The fact that you can get fresh apples any time of the year.
5. That Dinaden is alive.
For
livigianoFive things Arthur did before the resurrection of the knights
1. Arthur totaled the car he was driving the first time he drove alone. There were no human injuries, but the car could not be resuscitated.
2. The first time Arthur went into a modern bathroom, shortly after he was awoken, he was completely baffled. He was too embarrassed to ask, and no one thought to explain it to him. Finally, he had to take Merlin aside and inquire (imagine how much fun that was). When the rest of the knights were resurrected, he made it a point that they all understood how the plumbing worked. Thinking of the alternative made him shudder, since he rather thought that, unlike him, they might be inclined to experiment.
3. Arthur often wore his shoes on the wrong feet for three weeks after he was resurrected. He did not realize that the left and right shoes were actually different, and he wondered how it was that modern people had such uncomfortable footware.
4. Arthur got very upset when he first realized that the church in Britain had separated itself from Rome. It was the Reformation waged all over again. After awhile, though, he reconciled himself to the idea that if he prayed in a church, even if it was a somewhat blasphemous one, God would accept his prayers as they were offered. He never was quite happy about it, and was relieved when he found a few Catholic churches. Still, he sometimes frets that the people have lost their way.
5. When Arthur was feeling particularly lonely, he would haunt the museums. Seeing how old things looked and how fragmentary they were did not really make him feel better.
Five things Dinaden can try to make Tristan talk to him
See above, No. 2 under "Lancelot's top 5 vomit-inducing romantic gestures that he's observed with the other couples"
Five Things Tristan and Lancelot have done together for fun
1. Torment Agravaine. Their methodologies are very different, but they work together well.
2. Annoy Arthur by pretending they're ignoring him when they're together.
3.
4. Plot to kill
5. Compare notes on who has, separately, tormented Agravaine the most. They keep score. Lancelot is winning right now, but maybe only because, while Agravaine generally tries to keep his distance from Tristan, Agravaine can't resist any opportunity to prod at Lancelot. He's like a naughty boy with a long stick looking at a beehive.
Bonus 6. Trade Stupid Galahad Stories™
For
far_mountainFive things Lancelot doesn't know about Arthur, but Tristan does.
1. Arthur started watching Lancelot nearly from the day he arrived to take command of the knights. At the time, Lancelot, who was sleeping with Galehaut (and any woman who caught his eye), did not notice.
2. Arthur spent most of the night after they received their orders to leave for Eboracum at Lancelot's bedside, as he had every night since Lancelot had been wounded. But that night, rather than passing the time praying, he put his head down on the bed and wept.
3. Arthur never gave Lancelot gifts in the old life. In his mind, it would no doubt have been completely inappropriate. But a few times, Tristan had seen Arthur at the blacksmith's lingering over an unclaimed knife or sword that would be wholly unsuited for Arthur's style and size.
4. After the knights were resurrected, but before Lancelot was, Arthur once followed a familiar seeming man for ten blocks before catching up to him. He was tall and lean and had curly dark hair, but Tristan, who had also stared for a moment when he had first caught sight of the man, had realized he was nothing like Lancelot within three seconds of watching the way the man moved. Tristan had no doubt Arthur had realized it as well, but, still, Tristan remembered the way Arthur's face fell when the man turned around.
5. Lancelot doesn’t know that Arthur actually misunderstood Lancelot’s wishes about his ashes. Arthur had spread the ashes into a wind rising from the west, thinking that Lancelot had misspoken and meant that he wanted his ashes to be blown east toward Samartia. Apparently, Gawain, Galahad and Bors did not know any better either, but when Kay found out, he was quite annoyed at their ignorance and complained about it to Tristan. Neither of them has mentioned it to Lancelot, because, really, what would be the point now?
Five times Tristan has covered for Lancelot when Arthur was looking for his first knight.
1. When Arthur had been their commander for about a fortnight, Lancelot had failed to show up for training one day. When Arthur asked Tristan where Lancelot was, Tristan had shrugged, although he well knew that Lancelot was out of the garrison, waiting in ambush for the Roman scout who had carelessly lamed a horse.
2. Once, when they had just ridden back to the garrison after a rather nasty skirmish with the natives, Arthur had come into the stables looking for Lancelot. Tristan was well aware that Lancelot was just around the corner in one of the storage rooms with Galehaut, but after a moment of debating with himself, he told Arthur that Lancelot had gone back to the barracks. He even managed to kick a bucket at the right moment to cover up one of Lancelot's moans.
3. After Galehaut died, Lancelot pretty much stopped sleeping. So one afternoon, when Lancelot had actually fallen asleep in the hayloft, Tristan had told Arthur that he had seen Lancelot heading off toward the baths. It was not a particularly good lie, but it was good enough. Arthur did not yet know that Lancelot despised the Roman baths, and that the last time he had set foot in there had been over a year ago, and for the sole purpose of dumping tadpoles into the water. And Tristan knew, from the way that Arthur had started to avert his eyes after he would catch himself staring at Lancelot, that Arthur would not dare go into the baths to check.
4. Lancelot got into a brawl with a handful of legionaries who had come to the garrison as part of the escort for the supply train, and so didn't know who they were dealing with. One of them got lucky with a broken chair leg, and Lancelot ended up with a cracked rib (but you should have seen the Romans). When Lancelot couldn't quite hide it and Arthur demanded to know what had happened and if it had any connection with the loud complaints from one of the tavern owners in the village, Tristan told Arthur that Lancelot had been in the garrison all night and had been kicked by one of the pack mules. To Tristan's mind, at least the second part was not even much of a lie.
5. When Arthur asked where Lancelot was, and Tristan knew that Lancelot was down in the basement looking through the boxes of weapons that they had smuggled into the house, Tristan had shrugged. Arthur no longer could be tricked into believing that meant that Tristan did not know, but he had also learned that there was no point in trying to force an answer out of Tristan. He looked around and instead asked Galahad.
Five of Tristan's traits/skills that Lancelot envies.
1. Sometimes, especially when he is trying to keep up with Tristan as they run through the woods, Lancelot wishes he had Tristan's uncanny knack for silence.
2. When Lancelot first met Tristan, he was envious of how fearless he was. Unlike Lancelot, who was afraid of a lot of things—never going home again, what Britain would be like, shaming himself in his first battle –Tristan simply did not seem to be afraid of anything. It was only later that Lancelot began to understand the difference between fearlessness and courage and later still before he realized that no one, not even Tristan, was without fear.
3. Before Dinaden died, but after Lancelot started keeping regular company with Arthur, Lancelot sometimes envied Tristan's relationship with Dinaden.
4. Tristan, of all the Sarmatians, seems the person who least minds being alone. Occasionally, especially as the years passed and they were fewer and fewer in number, Lancelot envied that.
5. Tristan genuinely feels no regret when he kills. Mostly, Lancelot has learned not to let himself feel anything either, but there are times, such as when he can't seem to get the smell of blood and carrion off of his skin, that Lancelot wishes he were a little more like Tristan.
In all the years they've known each other Lancelot has asked Tristan to keep five secrets, which he has faithfully done. What are those secrets?
I'm cheating on this slightly. I don't really see Lancelot verbally asking Tristan to keep things secret, but that merely being understood between them. So this is more in line with the idea of five secrets Tristan knows about Lancelot, which he has never told.
1. The first man Lancelot killed was not in battle. He was a Roman soldier. Tristan helped Lancelot hide the body.
2. The night after their first battle, rather than spending it drinking and celebrating the fact that they had all survived with their limbs intact, Lancelot spent the night behind the stables, huddled on his knees, throwing up.
3. The others think that the first woman Lancelot slept with was a whore when he was thirteen. He had been dragged to see her by Bors and some of the older knights. In fact, Lancelot had not had sex with her. She had been kind enough not to mock his reluctance and had told him, in her broken Latin, that he reminded her of her little brother. That had not exactly put him at ease, and so she ended up passing the time telling him about how she had been in Britain for three years, brought there after the Romans had razed her village and killed her father and brothers. Her mother and sisters had been divided up and sold off, and she did not know where they were. The place she came from was far away, and Lancelot did not recognize the name, but as she spoke, he found himself picturing wagons burning in a familiar grassland. He never visited a whore after that. When pressed, he always said that he didn't need to pay for it, and while that was true enough, Tristan knew it was not the real reason.
4. One night on their way from Sarmatia to Britain, Lancelot told Tristan that sometimes he dreamed things that came true. Although Lancelot never mentioned it again, Tristan did not forget.
5. The first time that Lancelot slept with Arthur, he was not driven by desire, friendship, lust or even alcohol. Lancelot slept with Arthur because fucking his Roman commander was one of the worst things that Lancelot could think to do.
