Some reasons why I should not be writing this Resurrection thing

[amari_z]

Some reasons why I should never have made this Resurrection thing into a series, most of which illustrate Why Arthur should be the Once and Future King of America.



1. I have no idea how to make people speak in British English. I speak in a garbled version of American English, so that's all I can manage. Feel free to point out egregious and/or laughable differences. Though be warned, too much mocking and I may just have to go back to "Tools of the Trade" and change that handy explanation of how the knights can suddenly read and speak English (magic, you know), and make it speak American English. Why on earth would the magic make them speak American English, you might ask. Why not? It makes as much sense as anything else going on. Probably. Shut up.

2. I have no idea where fanboy's Leighton D'Aubigny's house is. It's like a secret hideout, so secret that even I can't find it. Whatever. And you probably noted how I cleverly did not mention a name for the city that Arthur and Lancelot stroll around in "Out on the Town." I'm so subtle. This is all partly because I know nothing about England except vaguely where some battles happened pre-1700 and partly because I don't like making up my mind.

3. I know nothing about British politics except that Tony Blair is W's lapdog. And there are something called "MP"s that are not military police. What is Arthur's plan (or is it Merlin's plan?) to take control of the government? It's all comfortingly vague in my mind, like a hungry but sleeping lion. Please do not poke it.

4. I disturbed several of my long-suffering multi-national friends who have no idea what I'm up to with questions like--"do they have soap operas in England?" And--"what's a more polite term for bathroom in British English than loo--or is loo polite?" They're beginning to give me very strange looks. They may start avoiding me soon.

5. I know nothing about guns. Nor am I particularly interested in learning. I'm afraid if I type something like "guns most deadly" into Google the FBI will wiretap my phone and start secretly monitoring my internet activities (though they may already be doing so, given my dangerous subversiveness, illustrated by activities such as donating money to earthquake victims and saying things in public like I don't agree with the president and that he's both evil and a moron). They'll be bored to death, but who knows when I might decide to, I don't know, get a supreme court nomination, and then the whole world will hear tapes of me on the phone with my mom whining priceless lines like, "But moooom, I don't waaannnt to." Nor do I want the senate judiciary committee reading aloud certain parts of my fic on national tv. There are some things about your hobbies that your parents just should not know. And, dude, I get embarrassed sitting in the same room with them when there’s a sex scene on tv.

6. I have trouble planning my weekend much less coming up with a coherent plot that will lead to exciting things that make sense. Sense? Hah! No part of this thing makes sense. I think my brain is breaking. Shut up.

More to come, I'm sure. Look, I'm not pointing any fingers, but we all know whose fault this is. :p



And, yes, I am procrastinating again. On several, diverse levels, even.

Comments

[pharaohs-kitty.livejournal.com]

On the subject of writing 'British' English, try watching the King Arthur Roundtable discussion a few times to get the gist. Also any interview with a British actor will help and there's a few of them on the Internet in printed format. There's arguably few identifiers that point out "American" English as opposed to "British" English. Just don't call a bathroom that unless it's got an actual bath, a lorry is NOT a semi, and pants are your undies, and football is soccer. Generally, you want to keep the way they speak fairly plain without Brit or Americanisms (after all, what they spoke way back bears no relation whatsoever to what Brits speak now and what they speak now varies wildly from county to county - ask any Londoner what some Suffolk farmer said and he'll shrug and say "I dunno.") Other than that feel free to consult darklyscarlett (hey, she volunteered first!). Also, I lived in England for a number of years during my formative years (the wild teenage ones mostly) and my nieces live there now - they love to answer questions. I like the suggestion of Canterbury for the Mansion - both a lovely location and appropriate, plus many available pics on the Web for inspiration. Or you could situate it in the general area of Hadrian's Wall (there are many lovely towns up there, but a lot of the countryside is rather forbidding and remote - a popular touristy thing is to do a walking tour where you hike from town to town and stay the night at various hotels and inns). Though I know a lot about the care and cleaning of an automatic pistol and how to fire one, and the care, cleaning and skills of firing various rifles - I don't know diddly about guns makes and models. While putting in the details like Laurell K. Hamilton does is nice, it isn't necessary. I read a large number of mysteries with various types of heroes and the majority of them don't put gun details in. They leave it vague. Unless it has something to do with your plot (like Laurell's 'how DO you hide a decent gun under a fancy sexy cocktail dress anyhow?') what do we need to know for? You're doing a fantastic job! Keep it up!
PeeK

[amari-z.livejournal.com]

Ah, you are so nice. My excuse to myself is that other than when they're talking to some actual modern person, or when I bother to indicate, who knows what language they are speaking in? Sarmatian? Latin? Who can say? :p I tell myself I'm not going to worry too much about it. I have enough other problems with this thing. ; )

Yes, vagueness is my friend. I have never touched a gun in my life, and while I have no problem with them in a fictionalized context, I'm happy to keep it that way.

Glad you're enjoying the fic--it's great to hear that, it keeps me motivated. : )