ext_3456 ([identity profile] pharaohs-kitty.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] amari_z 2005-12-18 07:58 pm (UTC)

Fantastic! The level of tension was high with so few words. I imagine a first encounter between the two was very interesting and you've certainly piqued my imagination with this scenario. Great writing.

You might want to fix this line, unless it's what you meant he did not want to reprimand this man—he waned to win him over.

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